The Anime Parody Christmas Songbook =================================== by Shunsuke -||| shunsuke@mailcity.com Season's greetings to all at the FFSL! (Fanfic Spamming List ^_^ ) Here for your amusement/annoyance, I present the _Anime Parody Christmas Songbook_, containing re-worked lyrics to several traditional Christmas songs, including these titles: The Twelve Days of Christmas Three Goddesses Slay Drive Yuri and Kei Angels We Have Fought On High Warning Bells Shinji Ikari Let It Go! We Three Girls O Kodachi Away, In Some Danger Be sure to memorize these lyrics to sing when caroling, at a party, or at the Christmas Eve service. ^_^ Have fun, and to quote an ex-girlfriend of mine, "Merry Ho Ho!" (This is also being posted to rec.arts.anime.creative, although I do not know when. - SI ^_^ ) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- The Twelve Days of Christmas ============================ (adapted from the traditional song) On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, One Ghost in the Shell. Second day...Two Lovely Angels. Third day...Three By Three Eyes. Fourth day...Four Knight Sabers. Fifth day...Five Sailor Scouts! Sixth day...Six Ranma Fiances. * Seventh day...Seven Tenchi brides. ** Eighth day...Eight Dog Warriors. *** Ninth day...Nine Blue Seeds. Tenth day...Ten Little Gall Force. Eleventh day...Eleven 24's. **** Twelfth day...Twelve VCR head cleaners. Notes: * Akane, Shampoo, Ukyou, Kodachi, the Ramen girl... ...and Ryouga ^_^ ** Ayeka, Ryoko, Washu, Mihoshi, Kiyone, Sasami, Tsunami *** The Hakkenden **** Nuku Nuku's model number is NK-1124 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Three Goddesses =============== (adapted from "Three Ships" for _Oh! My Goddess_) I saw a goddess come floating in, To Keiichi's life, To Keiichi's life, I saw a goddess come floating in, When Keiichi made a phone call. And what was that goddess to do, To Keiichi's life, To Keiichi's life, And what was that goddess to do, To grant him his one true wish. "I wish for a girl just like you!" Keiichi said, Keiichi said, "I wish for a girl just like you!" Is what Morisato said. "Oh no! We can't live in the dorm!" Keiichi said, Keiichi said, "Oh no! We can't live in the dorm!" So they moved into a temple. And what happened when they were at the beach? Kei and Bell-chan, Kei and Bell-chan, And what happened when they were at the beach? Urd meddled with their romance. Why did Keiichi win the race? And Belldandy, And Belldandy, Why did Keiichi win the race? 'Cause Skuld stopped interfering. "Why does Belldandy have to leave?" Keiichi cried, Keiichi cried, "Why does Belldandy have to leave? Didn't she make me a promise?" Why did Kei promise to buy a ring? For Belldandy, For Belldandy, Why did Kei promise to buy a ring? He forgot, but they're getting married. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Slay Drive ========== (adapted from "Sleigh Ride" for _Riding Bean_) Just hear that motor running, pum-pum-pum-pum-pa-ping, too; Come on, there's money better for a slay drive together with you. Outside the tires are squealing and we crooks are stealing from you; Come on, there's money better for a slay drive together with you. Rat-a-tat, rat-a-tat, rat-a-tat, Chicago; Come on, Bean, let's go; We're racing through the city with dough. Brr-r-r-rap, brr-r-r-rap, brr-r-r-rap, oh damn! They just shot my hand! We're racing along with cops and Percy yelling on the citizen's band. Our driver is cool and cozy, no chance of catching us three; We're counting money in the back seat and putting together Bean's fee. Let's take the side road before us, avoid us a roadblock or two; Come on, there's money better for a slay drive together with you. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Yuri and Kei ============ (adapted from "The Holly and the Ivy" for _The Dirty Pair_) Oh, Yuri and Kei, When they are both full clothed, Hell will have frozen over, The skin is why we watch the show. Oh the rising of their breasts, The ripping of their clothes, The hentai playing with his organ, His sweet singing as he blows. The triple-W A, They made a huge mistake, Hired the 'Lovely Angels' as cops, Now fix the damage that they make. Oh, Yuri and Kei, They are both well endowed, We pay to see fan service, "We want to see them!" say the crowd. The triple-W A, Regret hiring the Dirty Pair, But I have no regrets, You can send them anywhere! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Angels We Have Fought On High ============================= (adapted from "Angels We Have Heard On High" for _Neon Genesis Evangelion_) (As would be sung by Misato Katsuragi and Ritsuko Akagi) Angels we have fought on high, Battling over Tokyo, Against the evils from the sky, In EVAs designed by Ikari Gendou, Chorus: Rei Ayanami, Shinji Ikari, Asuka Langley Sohryu, Rei Ayanami, Shinji Ikari, Asuka Langley Sohryu. (sung: Re-e-e-e-i A-ya-na-mi, Shi-i-i-n-ji I-ka-ri, Asuka...) Gainax, how will the story unfold? Why was there a second impact? Why are pilots 14 years old? Why the fan service with no tact? Chorus: Come to Shinji's apartment and see, O Shinji's friends who act like fools, Misato naked they hope to see, They come with fantasies and drool. Chorus: ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Warning Bells ============= (adapted from "Silver Bells" for _Neon Genesis Evangelion_) City sidewalks, empty sidewalks, Buildings receding underground, In the air there's a sense of foreboding. Loud announcements, severe pronouncements, An angel's coming around, And from every loudspeaker you'll hear: Chorus: Warning bells, warning bells, An angel is coming to the city, Evil thing, destroying everything, Hurry up and launch the E-V-A! Strings of spotlights, fighting outright, Lasers firing red and green, As the choppers fly by with their weapons. Hear the battle, machines that rattle, Shinji and Asuka's big scene, And above this great battle you'll hear: Chorus: Chorus: ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Shinji Ikari ============ (adapted from "Frosty the Snowman" for _Neon Genesis Evangelion_) Shinji Ikari, was not a happy son, Forced to Tokyo by his dad, Gendou, For NERV run by the UN Shinji Ikari, is a chara in anime, It's a TV show, the otaku know, But they watch it anyway. There must have been some magic In that EVA in the ground, For when he linked it with his head, He fought the angels that were around. Shinji Ikari was alive as he could be, Not like his Dad, and no longer sad, And not cold like Ayanami Shinji Ikari knew his unit couldn't stay, So he said to the angel, "I'll destroy you, When I recharge my E-V-A" Back from the silo with a lasergun in his hand, Running here and there, shooting angels where He said "Catch me if you can!" He fought the angels in the streets And on the mountain top, And he only paused a moment to recharge When his EVA threatened to stop. Shinji Ikari had to hurry on his way, But he said to the angel, "I'll destroy you, When I come back later today." Thumpety thump thump, Thumpety thump thump, Look at that EVA go, Thumpety thump thump, Thumpety thump thump, Destroying most of Tokyo! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Let It Go! ========== (adapted from "Let It Snow" for _Gall Force_) Oh the war outside if frightful, The trip to Mars seemed so delightful, But since we couldn't go, Let it go! Let it go! Let it go! GORN doesn't show signs of tiring, So prep your guns, and let's start firing, We're surrounded and supplies are low, Let it go! Let it go! Let it go! When we finally win this fight, We can end this firestorm, If you pull your trigger tight, At least your barrel will be warm. The firefight left me slowly bleeding, But the enemy are retreating, I won't die until we win the war, Let it go! Let it go! Let it go! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- We Three Girls ============== (adapted from "We Three Kings" for _Ranma 1/2_) We three girls of Nerima are, Waiting for Ranma, who traversed afar, Fell in a fountain, a tribe in the mountains, Strange things in China are. Chorus: O Son of Genma, taught to fight, Heir to the dojo, Akane's birthright, A son with hot water, with cold he's a daughter, Attracting girls and men who fight. (Sung solo, Nabiki) Born a wild horse, that runs on a plain, Someone to make gold off, again and again, Fights unending, quickly mending, With blackmail, over him I will reign. Chorus: (Sung solo, Akane) Frankincense to offer him, why? Made of volatile oils, much like am I, Won't mix with water - some son, he's a daughter! I won't wed a perverted guy! Chorus: (Sung solo, Kasumi) "Myrrh, I should've wore, as my perfume," Is what I thought when she walked in the room, "Oh my!", I'm sighing, "Sorry, Ranma," I'm plying, "But you're too young to be my groom." Chorus: (Sung by all) Nodoka finds them, katana held high, Her husband's a coward, does not want to die, She'll cut off their heads, their insides she'll shred, If her son's not a man in her eyes. Chorus: ---------------------------------------------------------------------- O Kodachi ========= (adapted from "O Christmas Tree" for _Ranma 1/2_) O Kodachi, O Kodachi, How faithful is thy darling, O Kodachi, O Kodachi, How faithful is thy darling, Midorigame in the pond, Dear brother unconscious on the lawn, O Kodachi, O Kodachi, How faithful is thy darling. O Kodachi, O Kodachi, How faithful is thy darling, O Kodachi, O Kodachi, How faithful is thy darling, O how she loves her dear Ranma, Chased by the hussies through Nerima, O Kodachi, O Kodachi, How faithful is thy darling. The red-headed girl shall be dispatched, When the Black Rose's plot is hatched, Her voice tells all of her true love, That it is he, her dreams are of, The flower of St. Hebereke, And not that awful kawaiikunee... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Away, In Some Danger ==================== (adapted from "Away In A Manger" for _Urusei Yatsura_) Away, in some danger, Ataru's not in his bed, Snuck out to see Shinobu, if he's caught he'll be dead. Lum's flying in the sky, trying to find where he went, The little lech pervert, with his evil intent. The window is open, poor Ten he awakes, Finds his sister out chasing the pervert he hates. He knows what she'll do, like lightning from the sky, So he stays in his bed, saying "In the morning, he'll fry." "Where are you, my Darling?" called Lum to her love, She catches him, and she fries him, much more than enough. "Bless me with dear children, don't wander off anywhere, Or I'll take you to my planet, make you live with me there." ----------------------------------------------------------------------