WARNING:

      This is a *darkfic*.  All characters in the Ranma 1/2 series
      are affected in a very negative ways, especially one who is
      very popular among certain Ranma 1/2 fans.  If the subjects
      of death and insanity are objectionable to you, stop reading.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

                        Ranma 1/2 : A Rude Awakening

                             by Shunsuke  - |||

                           shunsuke@mailcity.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------

      "Evergreen"

      by Matthew Sweet
      (from his 1993 album "Altered Beast")

            As soon as I found you baby you know
            They took you away
            Put your little hands together and
            You started to pray

            But all your prayers they brought no answer
            Your faith was a lie

                  And there's no difference
                  Between the earth and the sky
                  There's no reason
                  We have to die

            Whenever you talk that way you know
            You're breaking my heart
            How can we ever come together when
            We're playing these parts

            In every love there is a promise
            So baby don't you cry

                  'Cause there's no difference
                  Between the earth and the sky
                  There's no reason
                  We have to die

            In every love there is a promise
            So baby don't you cry

                  There's no difference
                  Between the earth and the sky
                  There's no reason
                  We have to die


----------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a long cab ride for Nodoka; he knew even before the start
of the trip, things would never be the same.  Yes, she could hope
and wish for the last ten years to be replayed, with a different
result, but nothing can change the past.

She sat quietly, lost in thought as the cab made its way through
the city to the hospital where Dr. Tofu had called her from.  He
didn't say what had happened, only pleading with her to hurry.
Not knowing why made the urgency in Tofu's voice unnerving, and
with all the tragedy she had had in her life already, she feared
the worst.

"Ten years," she thought, "Ten years without my son, and after a
year of progress, after _finally_ seeing the possibility of
regaining him...am I now to lose him forever?"

She sat oblivious to the cab driver's attempts to make
conversation, and spent the entire ride looking out the window
at the sky.  Calmly, as the car reached its destination, she got
out.  Money changed hands, words didn't.  She walked away,
leaving the car behind.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Saotome," said Dr. Tofu, a grim smile on
his face as he greeted her at the hospital door.  He knew smiling
was the one of the worst things to do at this point, but it
helped him at least, even if only to give him a false sense of
bravado.  He wanted to do right for his patient's mother, for all
she had endured.  He walked with her in silence to the intensive
care unit, unsure of how to begin.

"I'm sorry I didn't explain anything on the phone, I just felt it
best to tell you in person," he started, hoping she wouldn't ask
questions.  "Ranma...had...had an accident, one that shouldn't
have happened.  He fell from a window, broke his lower spine, and
is paralyzed from the waist down.  I'm sorry."  He took her hand
and soothed it as they walked.  Her expression did not change,
the sad face she had worn for years; she shuffled her feet as she
walked, her shoes barely evident in front of her long skirt.

As they reached the door of the ICU, they stopped, Tofu turning
to face her.  Their eyes met, he trying to form words that would
not hurt her.

"It's alright, Doctor, I can deal with it."  She gave a smile to
hide the pain and let him lead her into the room.  "I've known
you long enough to know you care for my son."

She looked through the glass, seeing her son lying on the bed,
tubes running out of several places from his arms, chest, and
face; his was strapped down, preventing movement but the straps
were unobtrusive enough to let the medical staff work on him.
Stiffening her resolve, she asked the inevitable question.

"Tell me what happened, Doctor Tofu."

"At the clinic," he began, gritting his teeth and clenching a
fist as he spoke, "Someone made the mistake of assigning him to
a new room, moving him out of the more secure Nerima ward.
Normally it isn't a problem, but the room he was placed in had
no bars on the window.  I only found out three hours after he
had been put there."  He paused, clearly showing signs that this
was difficult for him, but carried on.  "As you know, Ranma has
tried several escape attempts in the past year, but one of the
staff didn't read his chart and reassigned him from the first to
fourth floor to make room for a wheelchair bound patient who
came to the clinic.  It was laziness and carelessness that led
to this."

"You know how cunning he is, so it didn't take long for him to
start preparing his escape.  He managed to separate part of his
bed and used it to smash the window; he then tried using the
mattress as a landing pad, holding it underneath him as he
jumped, but he lost his grip and came down on his feet, breaking
both legs, his pelvis, and shattering several of his lower
vertebrae."  The doctor began to tear up as he finished, then
bowed.  "I should have monitored him closer.  Forgive me for
what happened."

            *****

After Nodoka and Tofu left the ICU entered his temporary office
at the hospital, they sat in silence drinking coffee, Tofu
bracing himself to tell her of recent events.

"Mrs. Saotome...Nodoka.  As I told you a week ago, I finally
managed to reach Ranma, and break down his mental barriers.  I
believed he had finally accepted reality and had ceased living
in his fantasy world.  Unfortunately at this stage in treatment,
there are often lapses into old habits and the darker parts of
the mind wanting to slip back into the safety of the fantasy.
That's likely what happened, why Ranma jumped from the window."
Tofu talked softly, Nodoka just sat and listened attentively.

"As you know, Ranma was diagnosed as a delusional manic-
depressive, caused by severe childhood trauma, specifically the
disappearra...I'm sorry, forgive me for bringing it up."

"No, Doctor, please continue...." added Nodoka, choking a tear.

"In the past year, from talking to him, and through hypnosis and
drug therapy, I began to unravel the web of fantasies inside his
mind, what he used to cope with life, or rather, _not_ cope with
life.  Well, just last week I finally made a breakthrough, and
reached him.  He finally saw the delusions for what they are,
but unfortunately still has a great resistance to removing them,
as it forces him to deal with the past.  It's something he has a
hard time facing, as I'm sure you know from experience."

"Well, since I've told you previously about the illusiory beings,
I felt it would help you understand how I cured him by explaining
their meaning, now that I fully understand them for what they are.
It may help you as well to understand many of his behaviours of
the past."

      -----------------------------------------------------------

      "C'mon, Ryouga, I ain't got all day, y'know."

      "Curse you, Ranma!  You'll pay for what you've done to me!"

      "What's the matter, pig-boy, lose your way again?"

            *****

"I don't understand, Doctor, what does all this mean?" asked a
puzzled Nodoka, listening to the tape of hypnotherapy sessions.
"Who is this...Ryouga?"

"As you told me yourself, Ranma has always been a sickly boy,
that for years he did nothing but sit and daydream, sometimes
reverting to a catatonic state.  Well, some delusionals will
fantasize about an alter-ego, a stronger, more mature or more
innocent, confident version of themselves."  Nodoka was about to
speak, but Tofu intercepted her thoughts: "No, Nodoka, he doesn't
have a split personality.  He doesn't think he's Ryouga, he only
wishes he were, a stronger person, a better person.  After all,
Ranma did lose his innocence at an early age."  Nodoka nodded
somberly in agreement.

"This entity that Ranma dreamed of, Ryouga, was the first level
he developed in an extremely complex delusional structure he
forged in his mind.  It was something he could fight against,
communicate with, aspire to become.  Really, it was an ideal
'imaginary friend', almost like a sibling."

"Someone to replace a missing person in his life."

"Yes," he agreed.  "With all your husband's business travel,
Ranma's wish to be like his father, combined with this 'Ryouga',
he began to think of himself as some sort of traveling martial
artist, as was Genma in the fantasy.  Ryouga had a propensity
for being lost a fair amount of the time, much like Ranma felt,
and Ryouga carried a large amount of the resentment and self-
blame that Ranma felt inside."

Tofu looked up, asking with curiosity in his voice, "Did you
send Ranma to any martial arts classes when he was a little
boy?  It might be why this was part of the structure."

"No," began Nodoka, "I...I studied fencing in college before
I married.  Ranma also watched many movies on television, often
martial arts films."

"I'm definitely not suggesting that it has anything to do with
Ranma's illness, you understand, it's merely the most obvious
explanation of where part of his fantasy world began.  Anything
could have been the basis of it, even," he paused, thinking of
possible causes, "The psychologists you sent him to over the
years; Ranma might have become fixated on drugs, medicine, or
science in general.  Martial arts were merely a means."

Nodoka smiled, telling him she understood, but still felt the
pangs of guilt inside, worried that her heritage was to blame.

"Ranma began with this fantasy, of he and his father traveling,
and Ryouga as his rival.  Again, something innocuous likely
triggered a further growth of the fantasy.  In this case, it
was your husband moving your family to Tokyo."

      -----------------------------------------------------------

      "Cut it out, ya lame brain!  I'm a guy!"

      "Ah!  Never, my pigtailed goddess!  I must have thee!"

      *****

"You see, Nodoka," continued Dr. Tofu, "Ranma began to see
himself as a girl because he grew up without a sister.  It gave
him a way of creating one, to fill the hole in his life, someone
to love and be with."

"That I can understand, but how does this relate to being chased
by a boy?  Ranma, for all his inwardness, never expressed any
homosexual tendencies."

"This being, Tatewaki Kunou, doesn't represent that."  He paused,
being careful how he worded his next statement.  "Mrs. Saotome,
what did you use to spank Ranma as a child?"

Nodoka sat feeling flustered, unwilling to answer but knowing
she must to understand her son.  "I...I did, yes, I punished
him that way.  He always resented me for it for a while, then
forgave me.  It was hard for the boy of five he was to stay mad
for long."  She paused to draw a breath, then finished, "I
often used a bokken."

"I thought so." said Tofu. "Kunou was a representation of you.
Ranma hated being punished, and built the entity from that
resentment.  He wanted to love you, but couldn't when you were
mad at him, when he saw you as this contrary 'Kunou' persona."

Nodoka began to break down and cry, her head in her hands.  As
soon as she started, Dr. Tofu came from behind the desk to
kneel on the floor and console her.

"Nodoka," he said softly, lifting her chin to look her in the
eyes, eyes red and swollen with tears, "Nodoka, do *not* blame
yourself.  No one person or thing is to blame for Ranma being
what he became.  If discipline contributed in any way to his
delusions, it was only the smallest part."  He smiled at her,
waiting until she could return it; he then pulled up another
chair to sit beside her, deciding not to hide any more behind
his desk.

      -----------------------------------------------------------

      "Ranma, my dear, you look lovely today! <GLOMP>"

      "Have no fear, Happi is here!"

      *****

"Are you saying my son is some sort of pervert, Doctor?"

"No," Tofu smiled, removing his glasses.  "This 'Happosai'
being is a crude and disgusting view of Genma.  Genma has
always hated and resented Ranma, and this image of 'Happosai'
changing Ranma into a girl is another image of Genma's
rejection."

"Which also has to do with Happosai continually fondling
Ranma..."

"Yes, although Ranma knows Genma is not a sexual predator,
it's merely another way to revile his father, to see him as
one."

"But why would this 'Happosai' want to fondle Ranma as a girl,
if he's Genma?"

"Think about it, Nodoka.  Why would Ranma think of himself as
a girl?  Remember what I said about Ranma not growing up with
a sister, about Genma hating Ranma?"

Nodoka quietly sat and thought about their discussion,
remembering exactly why Ranma was in a mental institution in
the first place.

"Ranma wanted his father to love him, didn't he?  But Genma
rejected Ranma all his life; he never forgave Ranma."

"Exactly, Nodoka.  Exactly."

      -----------------------------------------------------------

      "RANMA NO BAKA!"

      "Ranma, I won't sell these photos if you pay me Y10000."

      "Oh my."

      *****

"Three sisters, Doctor?  I don't understand."

"Not three sisters, three manifestations of Ranma's psyche.
Akane, the violence and self hatred Ranma carried with him; he
felt it was inevitable that he would be married to the anger
for the rest of his life, yet he always struggled to resist
that 'marriage'; Nabiki was his unwillingness to deal with his
emotions, his hiding from them."

"So Nabiki is Ranma's way of being oblivious to reality."

"No, that is the third sister, Kasumi.  She is that, but she
is also the inner peace he seeks, thus why I became a part of
Ranma's fantasy.  *I* was the one in love with this Kasumi,
trying to find a way to reach her; the 'Kasumi and Tofu'
romance was a symbol of my work at finding a cure."

Nodoka actually began to giggle at the thought of this, of
Tofu being some lovestruck loon, instead of the calm, rational
and patient man she knew.

"It could also be explained that they represent the past,
present, and future, as images of three females is often
viewed; however in Ranma's case, the ages are the reverse of
the usual way of seeing them.  Akane, the youngest, was
Ranma's past; Nabiki, the middle child, the present; Kasumi,
the peace Ranma seeks, was the future, a sign that he wanted
an answer to his pain."

      -----------------------------------------------------------

      "Son In Law, someday you will marry my great granddaughter."

      "You...you cad!  What have you done with my Shampoo?"

      "Wo ai ni!  Wo de airen!"

      *****

"Doctor, this I can't possibly understand.  What could make
Ranma think some Chinese people would chase him?"

"The name of the village, Nodoka: Joketsuzoku.  Jokei - 'the
female line'?  Without the marriage, the female line could not
continue, the lack of a sister while growing up."

"Again," thought Nodoka, "Every damn thing keeps coming back
to this."

"I'm sure I don't need to explain to you the meaning of the
battle, and Shampoo's loss to Ranma on the log."

Nodoka quietly nodded, not lifing her head to ask "And what of
this person, Mousse?  Another twisted image of Ranma?"

"Yes," sighed Tofu, "Unable to attain the one woman he wants,
never able to do anything to win her back.  And like Akane, he
carries Ranma's self-hatred and anger."

"And this...Cologne.  She is...?"

"She's you, yes, continually punishing Mousse without
justification.  More of Ranma's fear of you, although I can't
explain the origins of the Chinese aspects."

      -----------------------------------------------------------

      "You...wouldn't be Ranma, would you?..."

      "Oh, my poor dear departed wife...."

      "Son, you'd better have an explanation for this...."

      *****

"...You're saying this 'Soun' person is really another
depiction of my son inside his own mind?" inquired Nodoka.

"Yes.  He's clearly a product of Ranma's own guilt, and the
three 'daughters' whom I explained earlier are 'children' of
this entity.  Again, Akane is Ranma's self-hatred, Nabiki his
way to fight reality, and Kasumi, the inner peace he seeks."

Nodoka's mood began to brighten, starting to understand way
the delusions worked in Ranma's mind.

"But this was the answer, you see.  I finally realized that
if I played the part during our hypnotism sessions, that I
actually *be* the Dr. Tofu and tell this 'Kasumi' I love her,
that I would help Ranma find peace, by making this 'Kasumi'
stop being oblivious to reality.  When she finally did accept
the reality of my 'love', it brought Ranma into the light."

Nodoka began to smile, still seeing the humour in the image,
while happy to finally understand how Dr. Tofu cured her son.

"But that isn't the important part of 'Soun', Nodoka."

She looked up at Tofu, concern on her face at the tone of his
voice.

"Soun is Ranma, remember?  Who do you think his long deceased
wife represents?"

Thinking about it, Nodoka realized it was the same answer over
and over again.  She leaned into Dr. Tofu who held and
comforted her.

      -----------------------------------------------------------

      "Once I've defeated the little hussy, Ranma will be all
       mine...."

      *****

"Unfortunately, it's as I said earlier; sometimes cured
patients will drop back into the fantasy when reality becomes
too much for them.  It's always easier than the real world,
affording at least some control of the patient's life."

"In the end, Nodoka, it was the belief in this martial arts
fantasy that led Ranma to attempt an escape.  He must have
thought he could take the fall, but even the grassy ground
he landed on was too much for his frail body."

Tofu and Nodoka stood again outside Ranma's ICU room where
he lay recuperating.  Over their clothes the two wore hospital
gowns that Tofu had acquired for them, knowing what Nodoka
would ask next.

"May I go in and talk to him?" she asked painfully.

"I think a few minutes would be alright.  It'll be at least
a week before he out of the serious pain and able to go
without painkillers.  You can hold his hand, just don't try
to move him, okay?"  They smiled bravely at one another
before she left him.

Nodoka passed through the doors into the room, walking to
her son's bedside.  She took his hand in hers, and began to
caress it with both of her own.  Gradually, a near comatose
Ranma began to stir, slowly turning his head and opening
his bleary eyes.

It was a moment before the room came into focus for him, but
he soon recognized whose presence it was.

"Mom?  Is it you?" he asked slowly.  "I'm really thirsty.  I
wanna go home."

"I know, Honey, I want you there too.  When it's time, I'll
take you home and be with you.  Dr. Tofu says you're getting
better, and can leave in a few weeks."  She leaned over and
kissed his forehead.  "I'll have your room all ready for you,"
she said with a smile.  "I even got some new movie posters
for you."

"Mom, where's Dad?  Can I see him?"

"He's...he's away, Ranma.  He's coming home soon."

"But I wanna see him, Mom.  You and Dad...I don't have
anyone else.  I..."  Ranma began to cry, trying to move his
arms to his face; Nodoka understood and leaned over him cheek
to cheek, wiping the tears from her son's eyes, gently
hugging his shoulders.

For all that it pained her to be reminded of the past and to
now know her son was crippled for life, she still felt joy
knowing Ranma was recognizing reality.  She smiled as tears
rolled down her cheeks.

"When you come home, Honey, I'll make sure he's there.  If
he isn't, by the kami, I'll..." she spoke before choking up.
"He will be."

"Mom, please don't cry, I..." he said as he tried to move his
arms to her.  The pain, not the restraint, put an end to that
effort.  He sighed deeply as he felt the pain, saying "Please
don't.  I'll be home soon.  Won't I, Dr. Tofu?"

Quietly, Tofu came up behind Nodoka and put his hands on her
shoulders.

"You will," Tofu said softly to Ranma.  "It's time, Nodoka.
Ranma, your Mother will be back tomorrow, I promise.  I'll
even break the hospital rules if need be, okay?" he smiled to
his young patient.

"Sure Dr. Tofu," he smiled, "Or when I'm better, I'll leave
*you* tied to this bed," laughed a weary Ranma.  As he drifted
back into unconsciousness, his mother and Tofu softly smiled
to him.  Once Ranma was asleep, they left the room, Tofu
wanting to discuss one last thing.

"There was one more structure in the fantasy that I haven't
mentioned, Nodoka, but it wasn't really that important."

"Another person?"

"Yes.  A girl named Kodachi Kunou, a sister to Tatewaki,
supposedly a graceful gymnast."

"I..."  Nodoka looked puzzled, trying to understand how this
person would relate, not seeing any aspect of Ranma life
giving her a reason for being.  "What role could she possibly
play, Dr. Tofu?"

"Think of the name, Nodoka: Kunou, nine abilities.  Ranma was
never graceful or athletic; Kodachi is a contrary figure to
Ryouga; both are very talented, but the boy was an honorable
person that Ranma wanted to be, the girl unstable who ruined
the lives of those she touched.  She personified his own
perceived and real insanity."  They walked in silence for a
minute before the doctor spoke again.

"He was always his mother's son, Nodoka; Kodachi was a symbol
of him wanting to be like you.  But with him it was the obvious
pun, 'no ability'."

            *****

Nodoka's trip home was far better than the ride in.  Knowing
her son would never walk again was a heavy price to pay, but
if that was what  it had taken to bring him back to reality,
it was worth it.

The cab ride ended quickly, bringing her to the door of the
family's home.  With her key ready to unlock the door, she
found it ajar, and went in to find Genma inside.

"Hello, Nodoka, is dinner ready?  I have a train to catch."

His words hit her like a brickbat, the ten years of his
indifference, his total lack of concern for her plight and
that of her son, ten years of being a "proper" Japanese wife
dealing with his denial, ten years of having no child to care
for.  And all because *he*, Genma wouldn't get over the past.

As it had taken a fall to shock Ranma from his fantasies, it
took Genma's words to shock Nodoka and awaken her from her own.

"HOW DARE YOU!  You work, eat, sleep, and never talk to me!
You won't touch me, you don't kiss me, you never show any
interest or concern in you own son.  You only ask and take,
never give or offer!  You do not visit your own son, not even
acknowledging his existence! Do you not care at all about
either of us, not even enough to ask me how he is?"

"Do NOT take that tone with me, Woman," he spat, roughly
grabbing her arm.  "*I* take care of this family, clothe it,
house it, feed it, and pay the damned *medical* bills.  So
know your place!"

"No, you earn the money, but you do not take care of this
family."  She wrested her arm from him.  "You are a boarder,
not father or husband," she yelled as she crossed the room
away from him.  "You married the company, your dreams, your
ambitions to be the best, all at the expense of us.  Take
them and leave, *Salaryman*.  Return to your /tenkin/, *we*
do not need you."

"Nodoka, I am -!"

"You," she interrupted, "Are a stranger.  Get out."  She
turned and walked to the bedroom, stopping at the door to
speak to him.  "I still have my family's katana.  I know
how to use it and will if you force me to."

She entered the bedroom and slammed the door, waiting for
silence to take over.  She then removed the family's katana
from the wall and looked at it as she quietly sat on the
corner of the bed.  Examining the weapon by slowly
unsheathing it, she noticed that for all the ten years it
had hung on the wall, the blade had never been cleaned.

It was her one and only family heirloom, given as a dowry
to Genma.  She wished her father had given something else;
anything, even money, would have been better.  Being sold
into marriage would at least not have led to what happened
because of this...sword.

She sat there, looking the the ornaments, the photographs
of her family, that sat on the dresser; she held the katana
to her chest as she softly cried.  Within an hour, Genma
had gone.  Were he to return, she vowed, he would never
enter *her* home again.  If the sword was to finally have
some use, some good come of its existence, that would be it.

      -----------------------------------------------------------

It was a long cab ride for Genma; he knew even before the
start of the trip, things would never be the same.  Yes, he
could hope and wish for the last ten years to be replayed,
with a different result, but nothing can change the past.

Genma boarded the train back to his assignment, trying but
failing to work on his computer as the miles passed and
began to accumulate.  He breathed deeply, almost a sigh,
as he put away his paperwork and shut off the computer.
He drummed his fingers on the seat's desk before slowly
drawing out his wallet from his coat pocket.  He began a
ritual he had gone through many times before, always trying
to find solace in it, but only coming away with renewed
memories of the pain.

He opened his wallet, removing the plastic holder containing
some well worn and yellowed photos.  He took them all out,
unfolding each with due care, and examined them to bring
back memories of better days and happy memories.

The pictures awakened thoughts of when he and his wife loved
each other, when he played with his newborn child, so many
shared hopes for the future.  Games played, scraped knees
from running through trees, muddy faces, their children
playing husband and wife.

Genma ran his fingers over one photo, that of a fresh faced
child.  His child, always his favorite.  Tears began to
form at the corners of his eyes, upon rememberance of the
accident, the pain and tragedy brought on by his useless
son playing with something he should never have touched.
Genma broke down and began to weep openly.

"My poor, sweet, little Ukyou...."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

                              E     N     D

----------------------------------------------------------------------


Author's comments:

This story came about after discussions with Alan Harnums about
his series "Thy Fate Shall Overtake", plus other recent net-based
discussions that took a less pleasant turn.  I had originally
planned to do a NGE/Cthulhu story, but one thing led to another,
etc. etc.

Before anyone tries to crucify me, no I *don't* hate Ukyou or
Ranma, it was just a matter of where the plot took me, or took
itself, as the case may be.  Of all Ranma characters, the only
people I *do* hate are Cologne and Happosai.

Lastly, one possible interpretation of the name Nerima can be
formed by the two kanji:

  "neru" (neri, in adjective form) : to discipline (one's mind)
  "ma"                             : demon, devil, evil spirit

Thus, the name of the psychiatric ward Ranma was in before
being cured, _Nerima Ward_, means "a place to discipline the
demons in one's mind".

Shunsuke

======================================================================